As usual, I start out with the same temptation, to call you “my Lua”. “Mine“, as if at some point I could “have you”.
When we come to this planet to be born, we forget where we came from. We believe that the journey began the day we mark as our birthday. As we grow, this belief strengthens, along with many others like: life ends when the body dies, we are alone in the universe, and that each person’s mind is a separate world unto itself.
Then comes a day when we question everything and we have the opportunity to decide if we will continue to believe in those immovable concepts of loneliness, separation, and chance or if we will open ourselves to the possibilities of feeling and remembering who we are, remembering that we are all connected, and that the “the meaning of life” goes beyond this body that we identify as ours.
Suddenly that principle of physics that we learned in high school; “that matter is neither created nor destroyed but is only transformed” finally makes sense.
Where do we go when the body dies? I think we decide where to go.
This morning I heard you clealry and I felt you by my side. I thought I was dreaming but you assured me that I wasn’t. You told me that you’ve chosen to stay with us until it’s time to give life to a new body. Upon hearing this, a pitched battle of emotions waged inside of me. I felt a deep sadness for not being able to give you kisses ever again, for not being able to laugh with you, for not being able to look at your soul through those deep eyes with which you saw us… so much.
And at the same time, I feel a deep joy to have had the privilege of knowing you, for you having chosen us as your family, and for you having given us the honor of meeting Love “in person”.
Today I asked myself, “Why is your parting so difficult; why do I feel this lump in my throat all the time; why can’t I stop crying?”. But I already know the answer…because it’s so beautiful to love you. It’s so natural and so simple to understand you, to see each other and talk together…it’s so easy to feel your bright heart and your desire to play.
And suddenly it makes sense… I loved Love itself… through you, without mental barriers, without judgments, without expectations.
You broke all the old schemas within me regarding relationships between living beings, every single one… there was no longer a wall between me and them. And with that change in me, your mission ended… in that body at least, in that beautiful configuration we called Lua.
We learned too fast… how I wish we would have taken longer. Time also blurred when we were with you. It seemed like a whole lifetime that we shared together and at the same time nothing more than a shooting star. That’s how fast you went from our lives, to transform us one more time.
You came to this world to personify love and you chose the best vehicle for that task: the body of a beautiful dog. Because dogs allow that kind of transparency, because they know how to be Love, because every pore of their being emanates love perfectly. Sometimes humans are so blind and dogs are so persistent and resilient. I admire them more and more each day.
What’s next Lua, tell me?
And you answer:
“Keep loving Love without a physical body, continue to love Love without convenient conditions, like being able to touch it or kiss it on the cheek. Loving Love by transcending the last barrier; that of the limiting beliefs of the physical world.”
“How does this pain lessen, this hole that is felt in our house, in our soul? “
“By letting it Be, without the fear of feeling deeply, and letting the purest and most intense emotions flow through your veins. Every emotion is information and carries a particular energetic code. Let them flood your heart so that your being learns from them and you can share more about Love through being who you are and through everything you do. “
Today I don’t want to do anything Lua. This abrupt change hurts. Just a few days ago we were still playing your favorite game…
“Humans have become accustomed to not feeling, accustomed to ‘produce’ regardless of what might be happening in their soul. Give yourself the time you need to become strong again. I know that when living life as a person on earth you have concepts like “duties” and “must dos” and “consequences” if you don’t do this, that, and the other. You have asked yourself, ‘What consequences would it have to just feel and let be?’ Do what helps you express Love, whatever allows your actions to imprint light and this love that multiplies within you each day. Do whatever allows it to resonate outward, expand, and spread. To transform the world, we need Love… pure love, in it’s essence.
And I’m still here by your side, and even more present in your heart than ever. I know you feel my physical absence but my presence in you has doubled and I love you.”
I love you too, Lua. Thank you for your existence, thank you for speaking to my heart. I receive your message with an open heart, accepting that this new, amorphous, invisible and subtle configuration is what you have chosen and I thank you infinitely that you choose to stay by our side. Stay as long as you want… every second that I feel you close is precious and I promise to learn, believe, trust and let go.
The limiting beliefs that my brain carries in its memory do not serve me. I’ll throw them away again and again and I’ll make space for the new to emerge, to be able to perceive the subtle world with more confidence, the magic and the invisible, to learn to love Love through time and space until we become Love itself… like you.
I love you forever, baby.
Lua, Lua, Lua … only 717 days on the planet earth and you’ve changed our entire life.
P.S. I’m going to print a photo of you and put it in a frame… it’s still too early to feel good about your absence in the physcial.
-translated by Koru R. Zebley